Insomnia

I spend a lot of time being tired, but any slight disruptions in my life often lead to terrible insomnia. Since I had the littlie (15th Feb 2009), I have been taking painkillers for back pain, Codeine or Tramadol. Since Tramadol is very bad during pregnancy my GP put me on codeine when I unexpectedly became pregnant (the first month) last year. Obviously any painkillers during pregnancy are bad, so I have dropped to an over the counter strength with the view to cutting down each week until I am off them completely. Unfortunately I have spiraled into withdrawal again, and this is manifesting as restless leg syndrome ( RSL a hereditary condition I suffer from time to time), and acute nighttime insomnia. I am wondering how we will get through the day right now since last night was the 5th night in a row I have hardly slept. I don't even think I can take sleeping pills since the whole point is to get off the meds, and also, the one an only time I have taken sleeping pills I was just exhausted but my legs STILL kept me awake. I expect I will muddle through somehow, and hope the littlie takes an afternoon nap!
On the plus side, my middle of the night clarity helped me remember my password to an old website where I had old photos stored. Look at these gems.

Me with Gene and Paul, aka Gary an Ash from Kiss tribute band 'Dressed To Kill' info HERE

Wednesdays Most Wanted

Me with my baby sister, I think I was about 3-ish

When I was little, I had a real thing for 'Green Shoes'. According to my mum it wasn't very easy to get little girls shoes in green at that time (early 1970s), so I have always had a thing for them. I actually only have 1 pair which I bought from Schuh for wearing at my engagement party in 2003. That being said, I am always picking them up and cooing over them, so here are a selection of the Internets finest.

 

Top Left - Naturalizer Mid High Court Shoe - £70 - HERE

Top Middle - Iron Fist Green - £49.99 - HERE

Top Right - Naturalizer Mary Jane - £65 - HERE

Middle Left - Office, Hopeful Bow Leather - £65 - HERE

Middle Middle - Office Hierarchy Green - £62 - HERE 

Middle Right - Green Pumpkin High Heel - £55 - HERE

Bottom Left - Schuh yana bar court - £70 - HERE

Bottom Middle - Irregular Choice Cortesan Woof - £65 - HERE

Bottom Right - Debenhams Green T-Bar - Sale £22 - HERE

  

I think my favorites are Top Middle - Iron Fist Green,  but sadly I probably couldn't walk in them.

The Cat, The Cow and The Dog

Not some bizarre kids programme, Yoga of course. I have tried yoga once or twice over the years and it honestly hasnt worked out. I remember as a little girl I dreamed of being just like the ballerina in my jewelery box, so when the 'people' came around the schools looking for possible candidates I was there like a shot. Sadly my dreams were shot down fairly quickly as I was told I was far too stiff to be a ballet dancer, this may have been on account that I was a bean pole? Anyway, despite being more of a pumpkin shape these days, I think its the same reason giving me problems with yoga. I assume if you are not supple and flexible at 8, then its unlikely to develop on its own by 41. Despite this, I went ahead and ordered a DVD from Amazon, Yoga To The Rescue, designed to help with back pain. I cant tell you if its any good, because once again I am having problems. Not the stiffness as yet, nope its the littlie. My worst back pain time is in the morning when I have obviously been lying still for too long, so it made sense to have a wee drink and feed the boy then embark on the yoga. I told the littlie I was going to do some yoga, but obviously didn't explain it, figuring that the next time he could put the name to it when he saw the DVD coming on (he is only 2). After getting through the 'how to stand' section we were just moving on to some more interesting poses (see picture above), when the whining started. 'I don't like that yoga, I don't like that yoga'. Then off he ran to the kitchen. His usual reason for being in the kitchen is to trap the terrified cat in the corner by her bowl and try to 'pet' her (cat torment is a whole other post I tell you). But no, I found him standing with the fridge door open pointing to the 'yogurt'. 'I like that yoga mummy'.  That wasn't a problem and I was happy for him to have one, but it goes with supervision and on that day, chants for 'Pingu on'. By the time that was done, I went for a wee, the post came, I put the dishes in hot water, bla bla bla, yoga was over.
I tried again today but as soon as he saw the DVD I was met with the same 'I don't like that yoga' ( I don't like, is a new phrase he has learnt, little smarty pants). I tried to carry on and encouraged him to join in, but no. He resorted to naughty attention grabbing. Standing on a stool and throwing loose change he had snaffed from the penny's jar. I have seen this before, often when I am on the phone or laptop, its called don't ignore me mummy.
So that was that. Obviously evening is a more suitable time, but honestly I crawl upstairs on my lips most nights, so I would never get around to it. Any suggestions most welcomed.

And finally, as promised, todays recipe

Haddock with grapefruit and mushrooms

ingredients

serves 4

4 haddock fillets, skinned, about 175 g (6 oz) each
40 g (1 1/2 oz) butter or margarine
3 spring onions, chopped
salt and pepper
2 grapefruit
100 g (4 oz) mushrooms, sliced

method

1. Arrange the haddock fillets in a lightly greased casserole. Mash the butter or margarine with the spring onions and salt and pepper to taste. Grate the rind from the grapefruit and beat into the butter or margarine.

2. Spread this over the haddock fillets. Cover with the mushrooms.

3. Squeeze the juice from one grapefruit and peel and segment the other. Pour the grapefruit juice over the mushrooms and place the grapefruit segments on top.

4. Cover and cook in the oven for about 30 minutes, or until the fish is cooked.

To peel the grapefruit, remove the skin in sections, cutting deeply enough to remove the pith. Using the tip of the knife, ease out the skinless segments.

Obsession And Compulsion

After my recent hair disaster I was pondering what I would like done with my hair. Obviously not blond, but maybe a gorgeous chocolate brown with some lovely buttery highlights. Then it occurred to me, that perhaps I am projecting my food feelings onto my hair. I have not had any real chocolate or real butter for weeks. Oops, it would seem so. Especially since I have realised my diet (low fat eating), is not temporary, its forever. I am eating well enough that if I do get pregnant I will not have to alter my diet. Basically all I have really done is cut out the crap.

I have found thinking up ideas for dinner one of the most difficult parts of the whole thing, so this week I am going to be following some recipes.
I thought I might share some on here over the week, just in case anyone else is stuck for dinner.

Today we have

Beef with orange

ingredients

serves 4

5 teaspoons plain wholemeal flour
salt and pepper
350 g (12 oz) lean chuck steak, cubed
15 g (1/2 oz) butter
1 small onion, chopped
1/2 green pepper, seeded and chopped
grated rind and juice of 2 small oranges
200 ml (7 fl oz) beef stock
chopped parsley, to garnish

method

1. Season the flour with salt and pepper and use to coat the meat

 

2. Melt the butter in a non-stick frying pan, add the onion and pepper and fry until soft.

3. Add the meat and fry, turning, until evenly browned.

4. Transfer to a 900 ml (1 1/2 pint) casserole. Stir in the orange rind and juice, stock and salt and pepper to taste.

5. Cover and cook in the oven for 1 - 1 1/4 hours. Serve hot, garnished with parsley. 

 

 

* I wont be using butter though, a wee spray of oil will be much healthier.

Lucy In Disguise

For various reasons I have spent most of today (Sunday) in bed, feeling pretty sorry for myself. With the unexpected free time I decided to watch the new Lily Allen Documentary From Riches To Rags. I like Lily's music, but not being one to buy newspapers or magazines (much), I didn't have any preconceptions of Lily herself. After I had watched the 2 episodes available on catch-up TV I decided I quite liked her, and her slightly quirky style. I think a vintage designer clothes 'hire' shop is a great idea, although I wonder what 'their' idea of 'big' ladies is (size 12-14?). That aside, the clothes are, to quote 'amazing'.
This little dress certainly evokes spring and given the chance and right occasion, I would wear it.

Leonard Paris for Bergdorf Goodman
70′s Silk Jersey floral print dress
£220.00
Hire £66.00

And as an aside, I am having  obsessive compulsive thoughts about this lamp (not a usual practice for me) seen in the TV show, but cant find it or one similar for sale anywhere. Please let me know if you find one, it will go perfectly in the new house I also dont have yet.

Please Please Please

I think I have mentioned a couple of times that we are house-hunting? Anyway, we/I was extremely miffed a few weeks ago when we found a lovely house, viewed it, submitted the paperwork and was then informed it was under offer. I felt my dream home had slipped through our hands (slightly over dramatic). On Thursday though, I was chatting to my husband on the phone (he was at work), and surfing the property websites when I found this house. We both became very excited and managed to get into the viewing at 4.30 yesterday, and WE LOVE IT. It has many of the features our old flat had (high ceilings, bay window, open fireplace), but has many advantages the old flat didn't have (it is double glazed, has Gas central heating and isn't up 3 flights of stairs). It was obviously too late to do much about it on a Friday afternoon just before 5pm but my husband will be calling the agent first thing on Monday.
I had intended on having hubby take a wee video on his iphone, (I got the idea from Kat at Slugs on the Refrigerator who has just moved into her fantastic new home, take a look HERE), but the current residents were home and the kids were sitting in their rooms looking a bit annoyed at the invasion of house-hunters.
When we left, we went for a 10 minute stroll with the littlie so he could see what was down the street and over the bridge, and I did take some photos there. Wish us luck, we really want this house.

Lessons

There are some lessons in life we really never learn. One of mine is, peroxide = yellow = emergency trip to Boots for 'brown' dye = bandanna = more dyeing = practically the same colour as I started with.
Ah well, no permanent damage done, but it is something I never seem to learn. I also cooked clam meat stir fry last night, another lesson I need to learn. I like most fish, I like prawns, I dont ever manage to eat clams, mussels or crab, yet for some reason I buy one of them every so often, convIinced in the right sauce or dressing it will be lovely and I can eat it. Needless to say I was making rice stuffed peppers for myself at 9.30 last night.
On the other hand, I have learned that the best way to get a toddler to keep his new hat on, is to sneak it on while he is asleep.

Here I Go Again

Its that time again. Not the time of the week, (Thursday, when I wish the weekend would get a move on), or the time of the month (ovulation?), or the time of year (come on spring, I need you to be here already). Nope, its about that time every other year or so when I decide it is not my destiny to have black/very dark brown hair, and it is indeed possible to be blond. I know perfectly well from past experience it will inevitably end with ginger/orange, but hey-ho, here I am sat with a dollop of peroxide on the front of my hair. Keep your fingers crossed my poor wee fringe survives it.

Here I am in 1999 with my fiend L, I am the chubby faced one on the right as you are looking at it (often referred to at the time as Ginger Spice).

Wednesday's Most Wanted

I have been back reading a lovely little fashion/mummy blog recently (Find it HERE), and it has been like the modern version of lying on the couch with a stack of magazines and a bar of chocolate. Obviously I couldn't have the chocolate since I am still taking Orlistat (in case you missed my other posts, here is some info HERE), but I have enjoyed the fashion and child humor, especially the tale of being bitten by a 'yellypish', if you are a parent you can figure that out easily.
Anyway, it has inspired me to start a little fashion thing of my own. I used to be very interested in clothes, but one small child, a few extra stones in weight, and serious sleep deprivation has lead to a couldn't care less attitude. A  few weeks ago (or was it months? not sure), I did a major clear out of my wardrobe and threw away the 'seen better days' items and bagged up the things I keep 'just in case' or 'because it fits', but actually I don't like.
So, without further ado, here are some things I really want, followed by some things I can really afford. I cant promise this volume of items listed every week, but here is an outfit I have wanted to put together for ages.

1 Orla Kiely - Summer Flower Maxi Sling Bag - £143 HERE
2 Lanvin - Trench Coat With Corsage Detail - £1210.00 HERE
3 Juicy Couture - Oversize Top - £105 HERE
4 Stella MCCartney - Faux Patent-Leather Wedge Sandals - £315 HERE
5 Adam - Tulip Denim Skirt - £159 HERE
6 Chanel - Rouge Allure Laque - £24.51 HERE

Total - £1956.51

 

1 Koala Kreations - Flower Shoulder Bag - £16.50 HERE
2 George - Camel Trench Coat - £25.00 HERE
3 M&S - Pure Cotton Raglan Sleeve Stripe Slub Jersey Top - £15.00 HERE
4 Debenhams - Tan Multi Strap Wedge Sandal - £17.00 HERE
5 Kaliko - Button through Denim Skirt - £22.50 HERE
6 Chanel - Rouge Allure Laque - £24.51 HERE (because why not right?)

Total - £120.51

If you can afford the first set and buy any of them, please let me know if they are as fabulous as they seem.

The Situation

We have officially decided to try for another baby. Its quite a relief to have made a decision about it, but obviously, the nerves about 'can I', will kick in soon. I have never had any problems getting pregnant, despite some long odds. With my first child, I got pregnant the first month of trying (I actually knew the date), with my 2nd child it was exactly the same, but I wasn't kidding myself, I was a slim, healthy young woman of 21 when I conceived.
I had a tubal ligation (INFO HERE), when I was 24, after years of terrible PND. Obviously I shouldn't have made such a serious decision whilst suffering from depression, but I also feel in hindsight that my GP should never had made the referral at that time. As it turned out, my fertility consultant agreed, particularly since no counseling was offered prior to the surgery. Luckily for me, the referral letter said I was a healthy young woman, with no medical problems except suffering from PND. .When I requested a reversal, the panel decided it should never have been done, and I went to hospital in January 2008 and had the surgery. Unfortunately, it was only possible to re-connect one fallopian tube because the other tube was backed right up.I should point out that my case went to panel because I was requesting a reversal paid for by the NHS, I could have paid for it myself without going to panel (reversal of tubal ligation costs approximately £3000).
We started trying for a baby in March 2008 (I was 38 at the time). I was expecting it to take a long time to conceive, and we had been warned it may NEVER happen. To our utter disbelief and delight, we became pregnant in May 2008, after only 3 months of trying.
Last year, when we decided to try for another baby we got our positive test the first month. Sadly though, we lost that baby. So here we are again, month 1, about to start again.
I am 41 now, and I have the distinct feeling, its not going to be so easy this time. Wish us luck guys, and if you find my posts getting more stressed and a bit squinky in tone, please remind me to chill out.

** The picture in today's post is 'Teddy John', born yesterday (Monday 21st March), by C-Section, and weighed 8lb4oz. His mummy is one of my dearest friends from Art School. Congrats to you L and R, Teddy is beautiful**

Spring Makeover

Don't worry, you will get used to it, I cant help changing things, ALL of the time, you should try living with me. We are house-hunting right now, to say I was ahead of myself is an understatement, here are my plans for decor.

St Paddy

Yesterday was St Patrick's Day so we did a couple of crafts to fit in with the day. My Great Great Grandad came from Ireland with his parents as a 4 year old, and my Great Great Grandmother came from Ireland as a young woman, so the Irish links aren't so far back in the past for me. I hope you all had a happy and lucky St Paddy's Day.

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!






Colour Versions HERE

Spring Butterfly's

I know it's entirely possible to do crafts with under 2's, but sometimes it seems so much work for a few minutes of crafting. Now that the littlie has passed 2, his ability and enjoyment taking part in crafting has increased dramatically (along with his enjoyment of lollipops and CBeebies), and I have hundreds of craft ideas in the pipeline.
Incidentally if anyone has a recipe for 'healthy' non-frozen lollies please can you let me know in the comments. I have found several lolly recipes but quite disgustingly they all seem to contain 11/2 to 2 cups of white sugar. Anyway, a big thank to THE CRAFTY CROW for an endless supply of craft ideas, we are having such fun.
Yesterday we made a spring tree and some butterfly's

Colour Versions HERE

Beautiful Reason

Everyone seemed to be knitting these gorgeous little shoes a while back, and I was really keen to knit a couple of pairs, but, having no little babies to knit them for was obviously a problem.
Fortunately, just like buses, babies tend to come in three's. So with 3 friends expecting babies I knew I wouldn't have to wait too long.
The first recipient was born last Wednesday and weighed in at 7lb 14oz, the beautiful little boy, Jamie Owen Dzamko.

Colour versions HERE

Fun

Yesterday we went to the supermarket bright and early, and when we got home, we concentrated on having fun.

 

 

 

 

 Colour versions HERE

Book Day

My darling husband decided to take the littlie off swimming this morning and said I wasn't to worry about getting 'stuff' done, I could do absolutely nothing if I so please (isn't he lovely). So for most of the morning I did just that. Doing nothing to me,usually involves tea in bed and my laptop, reading my favorite blogs and trying not to go mad on Ebay. I did buy a couple of things on Ebay THIS FABRIC and THIS FABRIC to go with THIS recent purchase. I cant really sew, stemming back to a horrific time in Home Economics at school, with a tyrannical staunch christian teacher, who was always yelling at me because I kept making mistakes and muttering 'oh god, or for god's sake', accidentally. Anyway, I have decided to be self taught ( I will let you know how that goes ).

Once my back was too sore to stay put any longer (have I mentioned our mattress is on the floor because the old bed was killing me and I didn't read the small print on the website where I bought our new bed, they are on holiday for 2 weeks, grrrr?), I decided to get on with the task set for today.
We have loads of books, which have been shamefully boxed in the attic for months/years. This is partly due to space and partly due to my dislike of dusting versus my husbands dust allergy. We both decided though, they really belong on display. Not because they are pretty, but because as a family, we really love books. Even the littlie has quite a collection and like myself as a child has some well worn favorites already (my all time favorite being). I think you are inclined to read more if you have books around, and although its often used as an insomnia device in this house I would like to fit more reading in. Its worth a little extra dusting.
 ps. Does it really count as spending money if its on craft items, it doesn't does it? OOPS

 Link to photo's in colour HERE

Dreams

I have always had the tendency to have weird dreams, and the last few nights have been no exception.
Last night I was dreaming, we moved back to the flat I lived in whilst at art school, incidentally the first flat my husband and I lived in together. In the dream we bought a teeny tiny fluffy puppy, who apparently only needed fed once a month on onion soup, (my husbands favorite kind of soup is French onion). The night before last I was dreaming I was in labour, in hospital. All the while I was trying to order a new sofa to be delivered before I got home. I didn't have a bed to labour by and I was getting agitated about it so they took me to my bed, which was situated about a foot from the top of some stone stairs. Obviously I wasn't happy, so they told me to get in upside down so I couldn't see the stairs.

One of my sisters, my Dad and myself were all sleepwalkers and sleeptalkers. My Dad and Mum owned a sweet shop for many years and Dad used to call out sweetie names in his sleep. My sister, like me, regularly wandered the house at night, especially when something was on her mind. I was in and out of bed like a yoyo in the months after my first marriage ended.

So although silly dreams are common place, I cant help feel these latest dreams are trying to tell me something, I just dont know what. Ah well, 'whats meant for me will not go past me' as Granny used to say.
Have a lovely weekend everyone.

* The photo is me on holiday in Venice, I wasn't asleep just taking a wee rest after a day of sightseeing.

A little bit of knitting

I would like to direct you to another blog today to read this marvelous post about International Women's Day, celebrated in part with an amazing knitting project, enjoy.
The Power Of The Stitch

What Was I Thinking?

I was thinking that spring has sprung. We even made flower faeries today, even though it was cold, the sun was streaming in the windows. Little did I know that the rest of Scotland was under a blanket of snow or having torrential downpours (allegedly). I guess we were the lucky ones.
I am a winter baby (born in December), and I love the sparkle that winter can bring, frost patterns, icicles, snowflakes and frozen puddles. But I have to admit, I have seen quite enough of the snow and ice this winter.
The flower faeries certainly cheered us up this morning, now all we need is the garden to begin to bloom and our spirits will be truly lifted I am sure.

Thanks to Twig and Toadstool for the flower children idea, theirs are super stylish compared to ours, but wielding a hot glue gun around my particular 2 year old is a tricky business.

Arty Farty

I now have a new art blog, please take a look guys.
HERE

Talking Poo

A quick update on the Alli as mentioned in an older post (here). I was prescribed the pills, known as Orlistat this week. I was going to buy them, but the price tag got the better of me and my GP agreed to a 3 month trial period. I have been eating low fat for a few days and I will begin them tonight. I have heard that the explosive reaction some people have can leave you caught short (toilet wise), so I decided it was best to start on the weekend when my husband will be around (the littlie is SO slow at climbing the stairs and doesn't want carried). I was meant to take my usual Friday stroll in town with my Mum today, but for various reasons we didnt go, but I need to pick up some bits, so wish me luck tomorrow.
A friend of mine told me this week she was caught short on Orlistat in town and from then on carried spare underwear and trousers for herself in the baby changing bag!
The picture is a fish and chips dinner from my favorite 60s diner. I wont be going there for a while.